She fell in love again..this time with herself

June 26, 2016


You deserve a hero who would take away all the pain from your life and love you the way you are and guess what you yourself are that hero...You become your own hero." 


It was boarding time,as she was standing in the queue with her boarding pass and passport in her hand ready to check-in, her phone vibrated. She saw the name. It took her back to the time when she was standing at the same place 10 months back ready to check-in when she got the best text of her life. It read,"I love you. Will you be mine forever?" Same number,same person,only this time the text read,"I am sorry but it's over." She could sense that her face was turning hot ,her vision was getting blurry and as soon as the flight attendant checked her boarding pass she ran away. We all know about the flight, fright and fight response in the time of adrenaline rush. And even though she could run away from there into his arms and beg him to stay,she ran on the path that was meant for her. She was ready to fight and nothing could frighten her anymore. Atlast she found her window seat. As the flight took off and she looked down the window she couldn't help but reevaluate her life in the past 10 months. Thousand feet above ground,thousand miles away from home,what could have be better than a 12 hour flight to delve deep into thoughts? She thought about the girl who would be happy with little things in life,who would laugh her heart out,dance around,who was positive,fun,full of love and full of life,who believed in magic,fairytales and happily ever after. And then she met him and for the first time in life she felt a sense of completeness. She couldn't be any happier. But one fine day they had a fight and she could feel it was the beginning of the end. It first felt cute because we all love it when our guy is little jealous,possessive and insecure,don't we? But over time she realized he was all about that. She tried her best. She stopped talking to her guy friends,she started wearing clothes that covered her more. She stopped uploading her photos on Facebook and instagram. But nothing affected him. From Facebook password to checking messages,from asking her to give up on her hobbies to cutting off her friends including the female ones(because she should be completely his), from being called a slut or other offensive names, she went through it all and the only explanation she kept giving herself was "It's okay to sacrifice for the one you love. You live for the other person when you choose to love and not for yourself". She knew this was so wrong but she was afraid to leave. She has always been scared of goodbyes. She knew she didn't love this monster anymore but she was too used to being around him. And finally when she pointed out what a terrible person he is,he hit her on spot and chose to end everything with the text the next day.
For the first time in months she felt free. She felt like a bird who was caged but now can fly again. And as she looked out of the window,the realm of clouds confirmed it. But the only question she had in her mind was will she ever get back to being the person she was?can she fall in love again? And the trip to Australia was the answer. 
For the first time in life she felt so safe in a land she barely knew. She dressed up in the clothes her boyfriend discarded as vulgar. She gave the short,oh-so-cute,colorful fabrics,prints,designs the position they deserved. She did her hair and makeup and she couldn't remember when was the last time she looked this beautiful. She drank,she danced,she laughed. The scary rides helped her to get her fun side back. She dived deep in the ocean and flew high in the sky. She understood the world is so big and our sorrows so small. There's so much to discover,so much to live. And once again,she could feel a sense of familiarity.
She felt complete again. This time all by herself. She knew what to do next. She finally decided to reply to him and pressed delete number after the text was sent. It read,"Thank you for making me realize we all can fall in love..once again."

The Post is written in line with the Indispire Prompt With all your senses, "Fall in Love - One more time"#FallInLove

P.S. This is just a fiction.

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13 comments

  1. Lovely post. Indeed when you want the other person to love u as much as u do, that same person teaches you to love yourself. And above everything we should love ourself and keep our dignity intact to break away from a relation which hurts our ethics, dignity, ego and self respect.

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    1. I completely agree with you. This is the exact message I wanted to give through this story. Thank you so much for the comment. :)

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  2. You've written this one beautifully Sumelika.

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  3. We were not created to be alone and if we don't discipline ourselves to deal with loneliness we sometimes fall in this trap of loosing ourselves in a bid to find love.

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    1. Very true. But I believe it's important to lose ourselves at times to find ourselves again. Lessons are important to build ourselves up. We need to fall down at times in order to get up. :)

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  4. We were not created to be alone and if we don't discipline ourselves to deal with loneliness we sometimes fall in this trap of loosing ourselves in a bid to find love.

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  5. To fall in love with oneself. Yes, that is the ultimate love.

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    1. Exactly what the message in the story holds :)

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  6. Wonderful! This is the best article on "my not so secret diary" and one of the best I have read till now. We girls are so scared to be alone that we somewhere forget to love our self. We prioritize someone who is not worth it and then end up hurting our self.

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    1. Thank you so much Jaswinder. I must say you are such a great inspiration too. I really get so inspired and want to write even more. Lots of love to you ❤️😍

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