It is too late now..

July 31, 2016


"It's very important to live every moment because you don't know what is waiting for you tomorrow.."


   

She looked through the window. It was only darkness outside. But her gaze was fixed anyway. Darkness was better than emptiness. And inside, everything was empty. The room, the soul. She never knew even a private hospital room could feel so gloomy. She heard the doctors talk. At first she couldn't believe God can be so merciless to her.  She was just 30. She didn't even start living her way of life and they are saying she's going to die. She was angry,she was furious. But after a while there was a calmness. And as she looked through the window, she went back to time.

She thought of the time when she had to choose her stream in school. Being the topper in everything, people knew she would always go for the best. And her parents proved them right too. Nobody asked her if the best was actually best for her. But surprisingly she didn't say anything either. "It's okay, I can always do whatever I want. There's a lot of time for me", she would tell herself.
She thought of the time when she had to give up on her first love,her dance classes. For most of us board exams are our first priority but for her it had to be the only priority. She was the topper after all. So many people have so much expectations from her. And even though she would get really angry if she saw someone not doing justice to a dance performance,she would look at her parents' faces who are more worried about her exam than her and she would go back to her study. She would say to herself, "If I was in her place my performance would have been a standing ovation worthy,but it's okay,my time will come too."
And as expected she topped her boards too. Her family,teachers,neighbors,relatives,everyone was so proud of her. Now she thought is the perfect time to tell her parents she wants to go for acting. She was tall,beautiful,smart. And everyone loved her performance as Lady Macbeth in the school play. And with acting she could continue her dance too. But as soon as she told her mother about it,she looked alarmed. "Beta,you are so young. Anything can happen to you. You have so much talent. You are the topper. You can't let this go in vain. We sacrificed a lot for you and only a fool refuses admission in the best of colleges. You finish your graduation and then we'll see." And as the obedient girl she had always been,she graduated from her college again as the topper.
She remembered her "rom-nom",the romantic nomad guy who was in love with his life and also her. There had been too many guys falling in love with her everyday but she never paid attention  but the way this guy spoke about his adventures,his dreams with such passion in his eyes,for the first time in life,she saw a future with someone. She would fantasize going on a world tour with him in the mountains,oceans,deserts,valleys, leaving this life behind and living a free-spirited life. She was so happy thinking she could finally go to places she only read in books. She was on top of the world and she finally decided to reciprocate her love for him. As she was getting ready her mother asked her to bring the tea and snacks for the 'guests'. And she was soon married to her "Perfect match". Working in the same field, highly educated,high income, she allowed her parents to settle their daughter to the best man possible. And soon she became a mother too. The little amount of time she had for herself was also lost. She said to herself,"Once our daughter is grown up, I am going to dance again, maybe act in elderly roles,travel the world, everything I always wanted to do."
She had the perfect husband,perfect family,perfect job..a perfect life then what went wrong?
She understood she had been blessed with a life everyone would love to have. She had everything. But she never understood it's value. She took it for granted. She took time for granted hoping someday she'll finally do everything she secretly thought of. Life gave her so many opportunities to follow her heart and now that she realises it life chooses to go away from her. She thought even if for once she had the courage to be the society termed "bad girl" she would not be dying with regrets and emptiness but unfortunately it is too late now...

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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